Gregory Nazianzen the Theologian In Defence of His Flight to Pontus and His Return, After His Ordination to the Priesthood, with an Exposition of the Character of the Priestly Office (Oration II), Complete

Translated by Ch. Browne and J. Swallow.

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5. Nor indeed is it strange or inconsistent for the majority of those who are devoted to the study of divine things, to ascend to rule from being ruled, nor does it overstep the limits laid down by philosophy, [2559] or involve disgrace; any more than for an excellent sailor to become a lookout-man, and for a lookout-man, who has successfully kept watch over the winds, to be entrusted with the helm; or, if you will, for a brave soldier to be made a captain, and a good captain to become a general, and have committed to him the conduct of the whole campaign. Nor again, as perhaps some of those absurd and tiresome people may suppose, who judge of others' feelings by their own, was I ashamed of the rank of this grade from my desire for a higher. I was not so ignorant either of its divine greatness or human low estate, as to think it no great thing for a created nature, to approach in however slight degree to God, Who alone is most glorious and illustrious, and surpasses in purity every nature, material and immaterial alike.

6. What then were my feelings, and what was the reason of my disobedience? For to most men I did not at the time seem consistent with myself, or to be such as they had known me, but to have undergone some deterioration, and to exhibit greater resistance and self-will than was right. And the causes of this you have long been desirous to hear. First, and most important, I was astounded at the unexpectedness of what had occurred, as people are terrified by sudden noises; and, losing the control of my reasoning faculties, my self-respect, which had hitherto controlled me, gave way. In the next place, there came over me an eager longing [2560] for the blessings of calm and retirement, of which I had from the first been enamoured to a higher degree, I imagine, than any other student of letters, and which amidst the greatest and most threatening dangers I had promised to God, and of which I had also had so much experience, that I was then upon its threshold, my longing having in consequence been greatly kindled, so that I could not submit to be thrust into the midst of a life of turmoil by an arbitrary act of oppression, and to be torn away by force from the holy sanctuary of such a life as this.

[2559] Philosophy. philosophia is used by S. Greg. and other Fathers in various senses, not always clearly distinguishable. Sometimes it refers to the ancient philosophical teachers and schools: sometimes to the Christian philosophy, which inculcates Divine truth, and teaches the principles of a good and holy life: sometimes to the practice of these principles, either in regard to some special virtue, e.g. patience, or, in general, in the lives of individual Christians, and further, as involving the most careful and extensive reduction of these principles to practice—the discipline of the monastic life. Cf. Suicer, in verb.

[2560] Eager longing. Nearly all mss. read "pity"—which would have to be understood in the sense of "regretful affection."

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